10 things I've never done

1. Sucked a cock, any cock, nor will I. Sorry boys.

2. Been paid for sex, financially.

3. Not paid for sex, emotionally.

4. Had a threesome with two guys and now I'm past sixteen, it's not likely to happen either.

5. Got married (I have had sex with a bridesmaid though, which is why I mention it. I'm sleazy like that)

6. Dressed up in rubber. I mean, what is the fasciation.

7. Done anything with blood or poo or piss, beyond an enema. Disgusting. Anything that marks you permanently makes you out as an idiot, yes that's you honey with your tribal tattoo and your nose ring.

8. Gone more than a fortnight without masturbating since I turned twelve. I was in Australia, doing some conservation work. I gave it to myself as a test. I passed but never again.

9. Asked every girl out that I wanted to. A girl I knew called Amanda simply asked any girl she fancied if she wanted to have sex. She got her face slapped quite a bit but saw more action than Douglas Bader.

10. Not got turned on watching modern rhythmic gymnastics.